Letter to Jah (4 years old)

Posted in Birthdays, Letters, my thoughts, Our Thoughts, Parenting decisions, Uncategorized by jahbella

Dear Jah,

You have just turned 4 years old a couple of days ago and it somehow feels like our little baby is now a little boy. A big boy you might correct me if you heard this now. Your Papa is still in disbelief because it has suddenly hit him/ us that you will be entering Kindergarten in a month’s time. We long to rewind to the days where you were a little colicky baby or when you were just learning to take your first steps. Ok maybe not so far back..:)

Jah at 4 months old

First unassisted step at 9 months 3 weeks

But we know you are excited to grow up..you talk about entering Primary school and you talk about being 18 or 21. You talk about what you want to be when you grow up. Right now your dream profession is to be a clown. Yes I kid you not! You have gone from a ‘parachute pilot’ to an army soldier to finally a clown. Although you did mention last night that you wanted to be a teacher, just like me but your reason was so that we could go to school together. 🙂

You have become quite a book worm and a Star wars fan

Being 4 years old is proving to be a trying age for both you and your Papa and I. We absolutely love the conversations we have with you and your hilarious antics but sometimes things get a little out of hand. We love that you are so opinionated because it helps us to learn more about who you are but you are also starting to test the boundaries, push our buttons and well really really assert yourself. The past couple of weeks have been a nightmare to say the least because well apparently everything has to be Jah’s way or the highway. Oh wait a minute, Jah hasn’t come home for a few weeks now because he is climbing the beanstalk with Jack. Yes, you have assumed the identity of a little dog called Goldie and you have renamed my stuff dog ‘An’ (he used to be called Goldie). Yes you have become quite the drama king (in a rather cute and amusing way).

We love your tender heart and your need to make sure that everyone is taken care of. We love the compassion that you have and the way you seem to understand the world’s big issues in your own little innocent, compassionate 4 year old way.You are mature beyond your years. You have a level of maturity and magnitude for forgiveness that even some adults may not have. We lost your iPad this last week and instead of breaking down and throwing a tantrum like we would expect any 4 year old or even an adult to for that matter. You said these words in the sweetest kindest voice ever, “Its ok Papa, I think the birthday robber came and took my iPad. Its not your fault Papa, its ok.” Ironically we would probably have felt much better if you had just thrown a tantrum but in that moment it felt like our hearts weighed 1,000 tonnes. Perhaps because it was filled with guilt but bursting with pride all at the same time.

You have just turned 4 years old a couple of days ago and it somehow feels like our little baby is now a little boy. A big boy you might correct me if you heard this now.

But you will always be our little baby.

JahBella’s Mummy

4Mar2015

Why I started Co-Sleeping (Even when I said I wouldn’t!)

Posted in my thoughts, Parenting decisions by jahbella

Before I had Jah, I told myself that I would never allow my child to co-sleep with us and I suppose I almost ‘succeeded’. The closest Jah came to co-sleeping with us was in the first 2-3 months when I would place his portable cot right next to my bed. He was such a colicky baby with horrible reflux and I was often exhausted after putting him to bed that it was really just easier to leave him next to me. I wouldn’t have been able to sleep well if I had to constantly wonder if he was spitting up in his sleep. L However the moment his colic and reflux settled, we ‘shipped’ him off to his own room and cot and relied solely on an audio baby monitor to keep tabs on him. Apart from having to go into his room to sooth him back to sleep once or twice a night or to give him his feeds, it was all working out fine.

I can’t really pinpoint when it started happening but I think it started around the time that I was pregnant with Bella. Jah started needing me to sit with him in his room, with my arms around him while he attempted to go back to sleep. This was extremely straining and tiring for me and I soon learnt that the easiest way was to bring him over to my bed and just hug him to sleep while I dozed off as well.

This was how our new arrangement started, some 2 years ago or so….with me putting Jah to bed in his own room at 9pm and him proceeding to wake up anytime between 11pm to 5am. He would sit in bed and call for me or walk over to my room on his own (if he is conscious enough) and everyone would continue to have their good night’s sleep.

At some point last year, Joel jokingly asked me what if Jah was still in our bed in Primary school…haha I know that’s a pretty scary thought! However I think deep down we both do know that as much as this co-sleeping sometimes feels alittle annoying and uncomfortable especially when he takes up 2/3 of our bed (yes a 3 year old can take up 2/3 of the bed!) We both also realize that this is not going to last forever.

Photo credit: howtobeadad.com

I really can’t blame the little boy for coming to my bed every night because as strange as it is…we need him as much as he needs us. This co-sleeping thing has become as much of a habit for him as it has for us. In fact Joel confessed a few nights ago that he finds it hard to fall asleep when Jah isn’t there…oh my goodness! Me too!

Photo credit: http://www.someecards.com/

So if you ask me now, is co-sleeping with your baby/ child unhealthy? Ermm yes I suppose so since both parents have also become dependent on it :p But would I choose to do it again, now that I know of the ‘outcome’. Yes most definitely! Nothing beats being able to watch my child snooze and hug the little sleeping monkey to sleep! Nothing beats waking up to his good mornings, bright smile and crazy singing (unless its 6am of course). I’ll do it again and I’ll keep doing it now because I know these moments won’t last forever and I am going to enjoy it while I can now…:)

JahBella’s Mummy

1Mar2015

iTheatre’s Aesop’s Fables (Media Invite)

Posted in Media Invite, Plays/ Theatre, Reviews by jahbella

Theatre boy (Jah) and I were invited by iTheatre to their latest production Aesop’s Fables at the Raffles Hotel Jubilee Hall and we decided to bring Papa Joel along. Papa Joel usually hates it when I ask him to join me for a play or musical because he just doesn’t have the attention span for it :p But he was more than willing to come for this production because he wanted to witness Jah’s interest in theatre for himself.

This is our second time at an iTheatre production (the first was Hop and Honk) and I have to say that you realize how super passionate they are for theatre and super good at what they do when you see the effort that goes into their programme booklet, stage set and props.

Mandatory Poster pic

Checking out the programme and activities in the booklet 🙂

Thanks for the goodie bag iTheatre!

Programme Booklet

Awesome backdrop

The 50 minutes show (no intervals) revolved around a theatre troupe, the Crowfoot Troupe taking us through 8 fantastic fables. The show was filled with catchy tunes, intelligent humor and great acting! Jah had declared a few times to me that he was scared of some of the characters even though he understood that it was all pretend, just like in his speech and drama classes. He even said “the uncles and aunties act so well!” :p

Wefie!

The show is suitable for theatre goers ages 3 years and up. Although they do say till 13, I’ll have to say “up” because adults like Papa Joel and I enjoyed ourselves immensely too! Papa Joel actually thanked me for bringing him along for the show!

Not only did I enjoy the production elements of the show, I also truly enjoyed the storyline. It was nice to be reminded of the moral of the story behind each Aesop’s Fable. Yes the ones we had learnt as children but somehow had forgotten that they apply to us even in today’s world. It also has given me a lot of ‘material’ to work with for the next couple of months when it comes to introducing Aesop’s Fables to Jah and telling/ reminding him of the moral of each story.

So if you are looking for some good fun for the family and something educational for the little ones then check out iTheatre’s Aesop’s Fables! We can’t wait to catch Gingerbread Man by iTheatre when it premieres in May! 🙂

Next up!

And I leave you with some ‘moral of the story’ that we took away from the show 🙂

“When you try to please everyone, you end up pleasing no one.”

“Never trust flatterers”

“Don’t let your greed overpower you or you will lose everything”

“Never swop your friends for enemies”

JahBella’s Mummy

26Feb2015

Follow-up Eye Review and a Second Opinion (kind of)

Posted in Kids health by jahbella

Its been almost half a year since Jah’s first eye-test and the very dramatic days that followed (his head injury). It almost feels like eons ago and most definitely a period that we still have ‘nightmares’ about. So when it was time to bring Jah for his follow-up eye review, we were feeling pretty stressed up. Though the eye-test and the head injury were not exactly related, we couldn’t help but associate them. 😦

We were initially supposed to bring Jah back to the Eye Centre for his review but given that this was likely going to be an annual affair, we somehow felt that we needed to find a doctor whom we were comfortable with and to just get it right from the ‘start’.

I did alittle bit more research, asked around alittle and finally settled on a doctor who comes pretty highly recommended. Ironically, she was one of my choices for Jah’s first eye check-up until we decided to go with the Eye Centre…hmmmm….

The doctor sees both kids and adults and the clinic was rather full when we got there at 1030am. However Jah was very comfortable with the environment and perfectly happy with the little box of toys and shelf full of books in the clinic.

We waited about 45 minutes before Jah was called by the Optometrist to do some tests. (Pretty long wait but it was a pleasant wait). The tests were done at one go which made it a lot easier for us.

We were called into the doctor’s office shortly (because 3 kids in front of us were all in the toilet at the same time! Hooray! :p) The doctor did a simple examination of his eyes and was really patient with Jah. She was also really reassuring and told us that there was no change in Jah’s astigmatism ‘degree’. She felt that his ‘degree’ was rather mild and told us that at 3 years old, a child’s vision is expected to improve with age and he will be able to see smaller/ farther items as he progresses/ as the brain develops. Oh so this is why he couldn’t see the last row of shapes no matter how hard he tried! Smack head! :):O

She told us that she personally would not have prescribed him with glasses but the fact that he was happy with the improved vision, we could of course continue but we did not have to enforce 24/7 compulsory specs wearing. Phew! It was such a relief for us to hear a second opinion on the matter. While the diagnosis was the same to a certain extent, the approach/ solution was totally difficult.

We came out of the consultation, understanding his situation and what he needed or didn’t need a lot better. We were reassured rather than petrified that our kid’s vision was going to worsen if he didn’t wear his specs every single minute.

All in all, a very successful reassuring eye-review which well honestly didn’t cost more than what we paid at the eye centre and we took all of 1.5hour before we were off to lunch and Toysrus for a reward. 😉

Glad that we found a decent doctor for Jah to follow up with. 🙂

JahBella’s Mummy

12Feb2015

Rough 2 Weeks as Parents – The Spectacle Lens Episode

Posted in Our Thoughts, Parenting decisions by jahbella

Its been a really rough 2 weeks…our Monday started with us finding out that our car had been badly scratched. Yes what a way to welcome the new week! And if that fiasco was not enough, we ended the work week with Jah losing one of his spectacle lens.

Jah and his missing spectacle lens episode was a really tough one because he started Fri morning by being super uncooperative and then he popped his spectacle lens out of its frame (or so we thought). This made us really really mad! In that moment when he was being extremely uncooperative and we were rushing for work, we didn’t think to ask him the right questions. Our immediate reaction was to accuse him for being an extremely naughty boy, demanding to know where the lens was and basically just being really mad at him. The poor boy.

We eventually realized that he was just pointing out to us that his lens was missing and it had been gone since the night before. 😦

We had to change our Saturday plans to get his spectacles fixed. We were told it was going to take 4 working days and since he didn’t have a spare pair, he was going to have to deal with not having his spectacles for a whole week.

Given that he occasionally takes a break from wearing his specs when playing sports or at the end of the day, we figured that he wouldn’t miss it too much. We were wrong. All the ‘behavioural issues’ (which is what we call it but probably too strong a word) that we stopped seeing since he started wearing his specs, all came crashing back that weekend. By the end of it, I was really really exhausted from having to deal with an ultra unreasonable, super sensitive/ emotional and extra insecure child who was upset that he couldn’t see clearly and was taking it out his confusion and frustration on us.

The school week started and I thought he was starting to cope a little better. School seemed to be fine and well I only had to deal with him for 3 hours after school, before bed time came around. I know it sounds really bad to put it this way but it was really tough.

Last night I mention to the poor fella that he would be getting his specs back tomorrow and he broke down. I was shocked. I think he tried to get through the week by pretending that it didn’t bother him one bit to not have his specs. I think he tried to pretend that he didn’t need it to see. I think he felt alittle betrayed and upset that it was ‘taken away’ from him.

With everything that has happened, I feel like such a bad parent. A bad parent for not listening to my child and finding out the facts before exploding. A bad parent for not being able to tolerate him acting out despite it not being his fault. A bad parent for not realizing how badly he needed his specs (both physically and emotionally). 😦

It has been a really rough 2 weeks, another reminder for us on how to be a better parent… I hope it gets better….

JahBella’s Mummy