Documenting ‘jaw dropping’ kids say the darnest things moments in our family

18 Feb 2015 – 3 years 3 months

*thinking my schedule outloud while playing playdoh with Jah*
Jah: mummy?
Me: yes?
Jah: who are you talking to? Are you taking to me?
Me: Ermm I’m taking to myself
Jah: oh. Ok..
Me: *continues thinking outloud*
Jah: mummy? Who are u talking to again?
Me: to myself..
Jah: why u keep talking to yourself for so long?

7 Feb 2015 – 3 years 3 months

*Jah kisses me while I was changing him*
Jah: mummy I give u a kiss
Me: oh thank you!
Jah: I kiss the girls because they are beautiful…
Me: ….
*runs off to kiss my helper on her hand*
Jah: I kiss the girls because I am a gentleman!
Me: *sure hopes the girls feel the same way* :p

3 Feb 2015 – 3 years 2 months (Jah)/ 21 months (Bella)

Bella: Oh no!
Me: meimei is like Dora, she says oh no just like Dora in the show
Jah: and her boyfriend
Me: huh? Her boyfriend?
Jah: yes in the show
Me: u mean her friend who is a boy? What’s his name?
Jah: u watch the show then u will know

2 Feb 2015 – 3 years 2 months (Jah)/ 21 months (Bella)

*Jah was playing with playdoh and Bella had just finished her shower*
Bella: meimei play!
Jah: *in an exasperated tone* oh come on meimei! You just showered!

1 Feb 2015 – 3 years 2 months

*overheard on our family bike ride today*
Joel: Jah would u like to learn golf or swimming first?
Jah: golf first
Joel: oh ok! Then papa and u can disappear for 5 hours on weekends
Jah: I just want to go for 3hrs only
Joel: ok 3 hours only then.
Jah: because I am so good and I will win.
Joel: who do u think will be better at golf? U or papa?
Jah: me of course. Papa u are not so good at golf. I will hit the ball very well and very far and I will win.

23 Jan 2015 – 3 years 2 months

*trying to distract Jah in the car this evening*
Me: Jah, guess what I have in my bag? I have nice Mickey Mouse red packets. You know the packets that have money inside. The ones you get for your birthday and Chinese New Year?
Jah: oh Ang Pows.
Me: ….. oh. U know they are called ang pows??!!! Who taught you that?
Jah: teacher. Mummy how come u don’t know they are called ang pows?

7 Jan 2015 – 3 years 2 months

Jah: mummy I want to put my money in my pocket so that nobody will steal it
Me: oh? Who wants to steal your money?
Jah: some people like money a lot and will steal your money and buy a lot of big toys for themselves
Me: who told you this?!

9 Dec 2014 – 3 years 1 month

Me: Jah! Papa scold me!
Jah: *busy watching a show* hmm ok later I scold him
Joel: you going to scold me?
Jah: yes later I scold u
Joel: can do it fast because I’m quite busy
Jah: no! Later!
Me: will u really scold him? Like angry scold or joking scold
Jah:*giggles to himself* joking scold only

26 Nov 2014 – 3 years old

*Jah was looking through the Toyrus catalogue*
Jah: mummy I want to buy this and this and when I’m bigger I can have this also.
Joel: wow Jah u want to buy so many things! Do you have money?
Jah : yes
Joel: oh u do? Are you working that’s why you have money?
Jah: no. Papa can I go work? I go to work with you now?
Joel: Ermm no not now..
Jah: then next time when I bigger I can work?
Joel: ermmm yes..
– way to go Jah! Good job at changing the topic and confusing your papa!-

23 Nov 2014 – 3 years old

Me: Jah why did mummy cry yesterday when u didn’t want to let me eat the chocolate cupcake?
Jah: because u are a big baby..but pretend only
Me: oh so only babies cry?
Jah: yes
Me: then how come you wanted to cry just now? Are u a baby?
Jah: because I am a silly boy! *laughs*

19 Nov 2014 – 3 years old

*on our way to pick Joel up*
Jah: mummy I want to be a construction uncle
Me: oh that’s interesting
Jah: but papa wants me to be a pilot..

10 Nov 2014 – 3 years old

*We were lying in bed this morning*
Jah: Mummy, my hands are cold! I need a jacket!
Me: Ok here, lets cover blanket
Jah: No I need a jacket
Me: Ok this is a jacket-blanket..can?
Jah: Ok can! Its a Janket!

3 Nov 2014 – 2 years 11 months

*Jah falls down and hurts his knee*
Jah: ouch! very painful!
Me: I’ll wash it for you later and put some medicine ok?
Jah: Mummy can you give me the medicine to take in my mouth and then it can go inside my leg? I don’t want you to put medicine on my leg…

24 Oct 2014 – 2 years 11 months

*Jah was refusing to get up this morning*
Jah: I’m sleepy, I don’t want to go to school
Me: just one more day, u have to go to Sch today then it will be the weekend tomorrow. If u don’t go to sch, the weekend can’t come..
Jah: if I don’t go to sch then it is weekend now.

20 Oct 2014 – 1 year 5 months

*Bella walking towards the hotel room door as we were getting ready*

Bella: Byebye!
Me: oh! ok bye meimei!
Bella: I going already!
**Adults turned to look at her in surprise, with open mouth wide!**

13 Oct 2014 – 2 years 11 months

*Putting Jah to bed*
Jah: Mummy? Papa come home already?
Me: Not yet, Papa will be late today. He wants Elijah and mummy to go to sleep first ok?
Jah: Mummy, why Lord Business make Papa work until so late? Why he don’t want to let him be with his family?
Me: ……..

7 Oct 2014 – 2 years 11 months

*Driving home alone with Jah yesterday*
Jah: Mummy, look! Got ambulance in front!!
Me: Oh yes, you are right! Is there an accident?
Jah: I think there is a emergency.
Me: Emergency? Wow how do you know such a big word?
Jah: Mummy, who doesn’t know such a big word?
Me: hmmm…babies don’t know big words. Clever big boys like you know big words right?
Jah: Yes, meimei don’t know big words. She only know how to say ‘uncle’
Me: Then can you teach her big words so she can be clever like you?
Jah: Ok I will teach her dinosaur later.

4 Oct 2014 – 2 years 11 months

Jah: mummy why the auntie shop (Bella’s hair dresser) not open yet but the uncle shop (jah’s barber) open already
Me: oh because the girls shop open later
Jah: why?
Me: Ermm because girls take abit longer and are always late
Jah: my girl doesn’t take longer
Me: who is your girl?
Jah: meimei. Bella is my girl.

4 Oct 2014 – 2 years 11 months

Me: Jah do u want to have a nice haircut when we go for our show tomorrow?
Barber: what show r u watching?
Jah: hungry caterpillar
Barber: don’t watch hungry caterpillar la, watch Dracula
Jah: I don’t want! Dracula is scary
Barber: no la not scary, he is the hero
Jah: no he is the bad guy and he bite people. I don’t want to watch him.
*conversation goes on with the barber trying hard to convince him that Dracula is a good show lol*

3 Oct 2014 – 2 years 11 months

Uncle Khai: goodnight Jah Jah boy!
Jah: good night!
Me: say thank you uncle khai for coming to see me
Jah: thank you uncle khai for coming to my house to see me and eat French fries and popcorn chicken with me! Good night!
Uncle khai and me: *speechless*

18 Sep 2014 – 2 years 10 months

Me: how was sch today?
Jah: bad.
Me: huh why bad? What happened?
Jah: there was a fire in school and then there was a lot of smoke..
Me: huh??!! *tried to find out more about the fire but wasn’t very successful*
Me: so how was sch today again?
Jah: bad.
Me: did u enjoy sch today?
Jah: yes!

14 Sep 2014 – 2 years 10 months

*driving towards Sentosa*

Jah: mummy! I want to ride that!
Me: oh the cable cars?
Jah: Yes cable cars! I want everybody to ride together!
Joel: No Jah, papa cannot take cable car. Papa is scared, it is very dangerous!
Jah: no! I don’t believe you Papa! Cable car is not a scary ride! Its not dangerous!
Joel: ……

18 Aug 2014 – 2 years 9 months

*After reading Three Little Pigs to Jah, he asked for an encore*
Me: mummy is tired, y don’t we ask papa to read?
Jah: papa dunno the story!
Joel: I know!
Jah: papa u know? Ok. Who is standing behind the pigs?
Joel: that’s the very naughty wolf
Jah: no! It’s the big bad wolf! Whose house is that? *pointing to the straw house*
Joel: that’s the three little pigs house
Jah: no! That’s one little pig’s house!

14 Aug 2014 – 2 years 9 months

Jah: mummy why my birthday taking so long to come?
Me: Ermm ya it’s taking abit long ah…u have to wait 3 more months
Joel: it’s ok jah 3 more months and u know what’s after ur birthday? Christmas! And then we can all go on a big ship!
Jah: papa u cannot go with us!!
Joel: why not??!!
Jah: because u are a pirate!

12 Aug 2014 – 2 years 9 months/ 14 months

Bella: *screaming and crying*
Jah: meimei stop crying! Don’t be naughty! The gruffalo will come and catch you and then you cannot see your mummy and daddy anymore.
Bella: *stares at him*

7 August 2014 – 2 years 9 months

Jah: where r we going?
Me: u are going to sch & we are going to work
Jah: papa and mummy have to go to work to earn money. I want to show my teachers my money.
Me: you have money? Show me?
Jah: yes but I forgot to bring it today.
Me: oh ok where is it?
Jah: it’s at home
Me: then can u give mummy some when we go home this evening?
Jah: hmmm…no I don’t have any money.

16 July 2014 – 2 years 8 months

Joel: Jah do you wanna make food with papa this weekend? We make pizza?
Jah: pizza is actually not a real food

11 July 2014 – 2 years 8 months

Jah: na meimei! I give you breakfast! *hands her ONE piece of frosties*
Bella: *grabs it and smiles the widest smile*
*this process repeats itself about 5 times*
Jah: meimei I give you one more but u don’t eat so much, later your stomach pain
– Story of the stingy and greedy caterpillars

17 May 2014 – 2 years 6 months/ 12 months

*Bella was shouting from her playpen and Elijah was busy finger painting and I overhead his ‘conversation’ with her*
Bella: *screaming to be carried*
Jah: meimei u wait, I cannot carry you. My hands dirty. I have no strength. Papa have strength.
Bella: *continues screaming*
Jah: meimei u wait. I’m very busy now.

 21 April 2014 – 2 years 5 months

*Elijah puts his hand to his ear*
Jah: hello..uncle police…meimei very naughty. Meimei fighting with me.
Me: Elijah are you calling uncle police?
Jah: yes…
Me: are you telling him meimei is naughty?
Jah: yes..
Me: u tell him she is naughty so that he will come catch her?
Jah: *pauses* no!
Joel: oh no then can u pls call him back and tell him?
Jah: hello uncle police..meimei is not naughty..don’t catch my meimei!

27 March 2014 – 2 years 4 months

Jah: mummy I want sweet, open for me. *hands me a pack of Yupi Yupi*
Me: no cannot, no sweets in the morning.
Jah: mummy I want sweet, just one sweet. *holding out 1 finger*
Me: did papa say ok? Just one? U promise?
Jah: yes, just one, I promise.
Me: ok *starts opening pack*
Jah: mummy. I like you..*in a ‘I like doing biz with you’ tone*

23 March 2014 – 2 years 4 months

Me: jah I ordered macdonalds hot cakes for you..we have bkfast in awhile ok?
Jah: yes! Mummy what r u eating?
Me: I’m having a burger and after that we shower & go for Mickey show ok?
Jah: yes..I want to bring meimei to Mickey show.
Me: meimei is a baby she can’t go with you.
Jah: I tell meimei what happen?
Me: yes u come hm n tell meimei what happened at the show.

18 March 2014 – 2 years 4 months

*On the way to dinner in the car*
Bella: *crying*
Jah: mei mei don’t cry!
Me: jah why are u telling meimei not to cry when u cry all the time?
Jah: meimei don’t cry in the car!
Me: then r u going to cry?
Jah: no! Not yet!

17 Feb 2014 – 2 years 3 months

Elijah was scrutinizing his shorts in the car and makes a loud declaration!
Jah: someone cut my shorts!
Me: where jah?
Jah: here! Someone cut my shorts!
*pointing to the little holes in his mesh shorts*

10 Dec 2013 – 2 years 1 month

Joel: can I have a piece of your fish Elijah?
Jah: No.
Joel: can I have one pls? *takes a piece*
Jah: No. Elijah’s fish! Put this plate! *points at his plate*
Joel: ok sorry *puts in back*
Jah: *pulls plate closer to himself*

18 Nov 2013 – 2 years old

Me: Elijah, r u Indian or Chinese?
Jah: I-nese!

19 Oct 2013 – 1 year 11 months

Me: Elijah who pushed u just now?
Jah: *says his friend’s name*
Joel: r u angry with your friend for pushing u?
Jah: No
Joel: it’s ok right..we must forgive right?
Jah: nods..*smiles* Elijah is happy!