Why a C-section doesn’t make you less of a woman/mother

I often hear women say that they feel like less of a mother or that they don’t feel like they have ‘given birth’ because they had a c-section birth and didn’t go through labour. And as much as I tell myself that thought is rubbish, I have also had my envious moments when I read/ hear of friends having a natural birth and ‘better’ still go without any pain relief. I suppose this might ring in as one of the top regrets for any c-section mummy if you asked what she wished she could change about her entire pregnancy journey.

Today I read a post online and it slapped some sense back into me. :p While I have to say the post was alittle extreme, it got its point across and got me thinking. Article Link

So while I envy/ admire/ take my hat off to all natural birth mummies, here are some reasons why I feel that a C-section doesn’t make you any less a woman or a mother. In fact we should wear our C-section mummy badge with honour! 🙂

Who said I didn’t have to go through labour

This may or may not apply to all c-section mummies but I know a lot of us had to go through labour pain and succumb to pain relief solutions before we finally had our c-section. I personally had to go through an 18 hour labour with Jah including major sideffects like vomiting and shivering, before my doctor told me that Jah was in distress and we had to do a c-section. Some may even say we had to endure the labour pain before birth and the c-section pain after birth – double whammy! For those mummies who had to proceed straight to a c-section without the labour pains, they didn’t have it easy either. In fact it was probably for very scary/ health threatening reasons that they could not even have natural birth as an option.

Major Operation and the works!

Yes, a c-section is a major operation! Everything around you feels cold and mechanical. However we are pretty lucky that we get to choose between an epidural and G.A today. This at least allows us to see our baby almost immediately after he/she leaves our womb (if we choose an epidural) and also have our husband by our side. It makes it a little less scary and lonely. I can’t imagine how my mother had 5 c-sections in her time (under G.A) and how scary to not see your baby/ know what was going on until you come around. While I couldn’t fully fathom how major the operation was when it was happening (I really just wanted to get my baby out!), I think the entire process really stressed Joel out. Total mixed feelings for the daddies who are excited to finally see their baby but feeling totally helpless seeing their wife on an operating table. I have to applaud the c-section daddies who sit by their wives in the operating theatre, not an easy time for sure.

The Recovery Process Sucks!

So now that we are back in our hospital bed, we can’t move. Yes most c-section mummies have an approximate 10cm wound to care for. So on top of dealing with this new pain, we are also trying to carry our newborn properly for the first time since the operating theatre. It hurts like hell because there is no comfortable position to hold the baby and it gets worse when you try to breast feed and perhaps rest the baby on top of a pillow which conveniently needs to rest on your very fresh wound. The recovery process begins when you try and get out of bed and take your first steps. The doctor will tell you to try and do this as soon as you can. I personally agree and I think the longer you stay in bed, the harder it is to overcome the pain. So yes, c-section mummies are expected to make an almost miraculous recovery within a few hours of their major operation. All this is also expected to happen amidst a flurry of visitors coming in and out of your room, you getting used to your new role as mother and provider to that little baby and last but not least you are expected to be super duper happy and always smiling!  I will not talk about what goes on in the toilet, you can read the above post for details. :p

Long After Its Over

Long after everything is over, life resumes and you and me like any mummy, all deal with our everyday life and parenting in the way we know how (regardless and indifferent to the type of birth we had to endure).

Every now and then I feel alittle ‘sad’ or ‘incomplete’ that I did not get to have my natural birth then I think back to the moment when I am play fighting with my kids on the bed and they accidentally jumped/ bounced/ step on my c-section wound that still hurts alittle And will probably always be a little tender. And it reminds me that I have a badge of honour (10 cm scar) and pain from it that will always reminds me that I gave birth to these two beautiful children and that I am their mother. 🙂

JahBella’s Mummy

29 thoughts on “Why a C-section doesn’t make you less of a woman/mother

  1. C-sections scare me. Like you said… major operation. The recovery time is way longer… usually. I had a natural birth with just gas during the early pushing. It was horrible. Next time I want drugs haha And my recovery time didn’t go so well either with infections and all that unlucky stuff but there is nothing about a C-section that makes it any less real. The end result is the same so woman should be fine with either option. I have no idea what my next one will bring. Other than drugs… haha

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  2. C-section or natural birth – we are still all real mothers ! Bottom line is we carried the child for 9 months to start with, delivery is about having a personal experience based on medical facts, preference or choice but ultimately we all want to deliver a healthy child !

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  3. I gave birth to both my boys via c-section too. My doc basically made the decision for me both times cos I just didn’t dilate. – 3cm max after 10 hours in ‘labour’! Till today, 8 years after the second birth, I have the scar line to remind me, of the briths… But hey, I have my lovely boys to hold and to treasure tonight so I ain’t complaining! 😘

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  4. I faced a lot of criticism for my two sections, oddly enough from my mother in law! She told me that I was taking the easy way out. It ticked me off at the time, but I have moved on because I got the best gifts out of it 🙂

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  5. Elective c section has become quite common these days.. just that if an elective c section is considered for the first pregnancy a gap needs to be maintained before the second pregnancy is considered. Other than this I can’t see any other impact of the type of birth

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  6. A few fellow bloggers have commented that it not how you give birth that makes you a great Mom! I’d have to agree, I have friends who’s first born was natural and second child was C-section and I know they don’t feel any different towards either child. Nonetheless a great subject well research and some interesting view points. Thanks Stephen

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  7. I salute all mothers who give birth in any way. I’m not a mother but I have friends who are mothers and they tell me all sort of horror stories during and AFTER giving birth. Not helping me decide whether to have kids or not!

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  8. I haven’t had a c-section but feel so bad for people who have to due to the recovery process. It must be so hard to look after your little one AND be recovering from major surgery!

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  9. I prefer the natural baby delivery but in some cases the c-section is the only alternative because of medical prescription. So the scars are worth it because the woman gives life and this is the most noble deeds of all.

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  10. I’ve seen mothers who wanted to go for natural bath only to realize that the baby’s head was in the wrong direction or that the umbilical cord was strangle it, and had to undergo C section. It makes me fearful of childbirth (as in the decision making part!)

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  11. I cannot believe some moms feel that only a normal vaginal delivery can make you a real mother. You go through everything else a mother undergoes, with the same risks. Most c-sections are done for a good medical reason, and are not just whimsical decisions. – Fred

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  12. Pingback: Top 10 Blog Posts of 2014 | JahBella

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