Be Kind to your Kids’ Teachers

I read an article that was shared on Facebook today and I thought it was a really good reminder. It reminded me that there are certain things that needed to be said, said to parents with school going children and especially to parents with childcare going children. The article link is here if you would like a read too.

As an educator and a parent to 2 young child-care going children, I think I am one of the fortunate few.

Fortunate because as an educator, my students are well past the stage of needing to be potty trained, needing to be fed, needing to coaxed to take their naps (in fact I think my students would be quite willing to take naps if asked :p) and needing to be showered and cleaned up after, just to list a few.

Fortunate because as a parent to 2 young child-care going children, I have an awesome dedicated team of pre-school teachers whom I can rely on to take care of my kids and I can go to work with peace of mind.

However not every educator has it as ‘easy’ as me. Therefore, really, parents be kind to your kids’ teachers.

Be kind because it really takes a lot of dedication, love and commitment for them to be there for your kids every single day. No, they do not get paid a lot and I believe they get through each day because of the sheer love that they have for the little ones they teach and care for.

Be kind because as much as we are tired at the end of each working day and have to deal with our kids and family, these teachers have families and kids that they have to go home to as well. Yes, while we had to deal with adults or adults who act like kids all day, they had to deal with at least 20 screaming kids at some point in the day and perhaps more than once. They are tired. They are drained. But they will be back at school again tomorrow, just because.

Never ever back mouth your kids’ teacher to them. Never ever question their actions in front of your kids or to your kids. Kids pick up quickly and if you question their teachers’ authority or disrespect them, how will your kids learn to trust and respect their teachers?

Please don’t fret the small stuff and stress the teacher out. Please do not harass your kids’ teacher over a missing hanky/ towel/ milk canister..please feel free to fill in the blanks here… Yes, you may be ‘paying good money’ to have your kids taken care of and to have them taught and educated. But do you know how tough it is to keep 1 child or 2 children in check and in line and keep track of their belongings when you go out? Well multiply that by 20. Things go missing, deal with it. Look at the big picture. Cut the teacher some slack..please…

Last but not least, be an ally to your kids’ teachers. Reinforce their teachings. Teach your children to love and respect them. They do not work for you. Work with them.

Be kind to your kids’ teachers.

JahBella’s Mummy

6Jan2016

Parenting in 2016 – JahBella Style

Posted in my thoughts, Our Thoughts, Parenting decisions, Uncategorized by jahbella

I hadn’t intend for this to be my first post of 2016, in fact I didn’t intend to write such a post at all. But as I was reading my first book of 2016 (I only read 1 book last year, goodness!), I realised that I needed to document this as a reminder to myself for the year (and for always).

I just started reading “Don’t make me count to three” which essentially is a Christian Parenting book. I’ve only gotten through a couple of pages but the first few pages truly spoke to me and reminded me of our purpose in our kids’ lives.

All very timely since I also just read today on social media about how there are tons of people who regret having kids and apparently people are justifying it and making it seem like it is perfectly fine to ‘regret having your kids’.

Don’t get me wrong, there are days where we wonder what our lives would be like at that very moment if we decided to have kids later. But I absolutely do not regret having my kids, not even in the craziest and angriest moments do I regret them.

There are moments when frustration takes over and in recent days, we have felt these moments more often than we would like to and then I wonder if I am not doing a good enough job with them but regret? NEVER! We adore them and are truly blessed to have them in our lives.

Jah seems to be going through a rough time. We seem to be going through a rough time with his behavior and discipline. We have essentially tried every trick in the book but when we get an outburst or when he gets out of control, we just can’t get through to him like we normally do. It’s tiring, trying and altogether downright discouraging especially when we have to juggle work, kids and everything else in between. So when he misbehaves, we find ourselves misbehaving too. As frustration and irritation escalates, we resort to threats, shouting, giving him the cold shoulder and well spanking. Honestly none of which we are proud of and none of which even helps or changes his behaviour.

Then the book reminds me that I need to attend to his heart and not his behaviour. It reminded me that as much as I might want to ‘give up’ each time my kids challenge my patience and my sanity and as much as I might want to scream in defeat. I need to remember what I’m here for.

I’ve been given a chance to love, nurture, and mould these little beings. There is a reason why they were placed in our hearts and in our home.

It reminded me of Jah asking where he had come from and why he wasn’t in some of our earlier photos and why he only ‘appeared’ a few years later. It reminded me of my answer to him.

That he came from heaven, from God and Jesus.
That it took him and his sister alittle while to get to us because God and Jesus needed time to choose 2 of their most special Angels for us.

And now that they are finally here, it is our turn to take care of them and teach them how to be good children and good people.

So when patience run dry and tempers run high, we will need to remind ourselves of how blessed we are indeed to have these angels in our lives and focus on helping them as well as ourselves become better people..

Starting our parenting lovingly and patiently in 2016…:)

JahBella’s Mummy

19Nov2015

Letter to Jah (4 years old)

Posted in Birthdays, Letters, my thoughts, Our Thoughts, Parenting decisions, Uncategorized by jahbella

Dear Jah,

You have just turned 4 years old a couple of days ago and it somehow feels like our little baby is now a little boy. A big boy you might correct me if you heard this now. Your Papa is still in disbelief because it has suddenly hit him/ us that you will be entering Kindergarten in a month’s time. We long to rewind to the days where you were a little colicky baby or when you were just learning to take your first steps. Ok maybe not so far back..:)

Jah at 4 months old

First unassisted step at 9 months 3 weeks

But we know you are excited to grow up..you talk about entering Primary school and you talk about being 18 or 21. You talk about what you want to be when you grow up. Right now your dream profession is to be a clown. Yes I kid you not! You have gone from a ‘parachute pilot’ to an army soldier to finally a clown. Although you did mention last night that you wanted to be a teacher, just like me but your reason was so that we could go to school together. 🙂

You have become quite a book worm and a Star wars fan

Being 4 years old is proving to be a trying age for both you and your Papa and I. We absolutely love the conversations we have with you and your hilarious antics but sometimes things get a little out of hand. We love that you are so opinionated because it helps us to learn more about who you are but you are also starting to test the boundaries, push our buttons and well really really assert yourself. The past couple of weeks have been a nightmare to say the least because well apparently everything has to be Jah’s way or the highway. Oh wait a minute, Jah hasn’t come home for a few weeks now because he is climbing the beanstalk with Jack. Yes, you have assumed the identity of a little dog called Goldie and you have renamed my stuff dog ‘An’ (he used to be called Goldie). Yes you have become quite the drama king (in a rather cute and amusing way).

We love your tender heart and your need to make sure that everyone is taken care of. We love the compassion that you have and the way you seem to understand the world’s big issues in your own little innocent, compassionate 4 year old way.You are mature beyond your years. You have a level of maturity and magnitude for forgiveness that even some adults may not have. We lost your iPad this last week and instead of breaking down and throwing a tantrum like we would expect any 4 year old or even an adult to for that matter. You said these words in the sweetest kindest voice ever, “Its ok Papa, I think the birthday robber came and took my iPad. Its not your fault Papa, its ok.” Ironically we would probably have felt much better if you had just thrown a tantrum but in that moment it felt like our hearts weighed 1,000 tonnes. Perhaps because it was filled with guilt but bursting with pride all at the same time.

You have just turned 4 years old a couple of days ago and it somehow feels like our little baby is now a little boy. A big boy you might correct me if you heard this now.

But you will always be our little baby.

JahBella’s Mummy

7May2015

If I were a time traveller…

Posted in Blog Train, my thoughts by jahbella

You know the question that goes “if you could have one superpower, which one would that be?” I’ve always struggled to choose between teleportation and time travelling but well I do suppose they have their similarities. So yes since I’ve probably given this time travelling thing alittle more thought that the next person. I think it’s no surprise that if given the opportunity to time travel, I would be spoilt for choice on when I would choose to travel back to. So at the risk of sounding greedy, I have chosen just 3 ‘time’ to travel back to. :p

1) I would travel back to the day of my customary wedding

Not that I needed the day to be more perfect than it was. What could be more perfect than marrying your best friend right? :p But if there is one reason I want a do over, it is so that I can learn to relax and just enjoy the day. I think most couples can probably attest to the fact that their wedding day was probably one of the happiest day of their lives but also one of the most stressful days as well. If only we knew better to just relax and enjoy the moment with the love of our life.

2) I would travel back to the day we induced Jah’s birth

As first time parents, we were in such a hurry to meet our first born that we were constantly ‘harassing’ our doctor about the possibility of inducing. Plus the fact that Jah was an extremely big baby (3.75kg by 38weeks), yes you can barely tell now right? :p We were concerned that we would not be able to have a natural birth if he came out any later and grew any bigger. Inducing him at 38weeks resulted in a 18hour labour and an emergency c section after all time. So yes if I could turn back time, I would let nature take it course (no pun intended) 🙂

3) I would travel, travel and travel…

Don’t worry I’m not referring to time travelling repeatedly instead I’m referring to travelling more pre kids and travelling more pre Bella. Oh don’t get me wrong, I think we still do quite abit of travelling with 2 kids in tow. But I can’t help but now appreciate the simplicity of travelling just as a couple or with just one kid. Which makes me wish that we had travelled more often and for longer haul. That fear of bringing Jah on long haul flights now seems so minute compared to having to bring two kids on a long haul flight. So yes to parents with 1 kid, I say please please travel and satisfy your wanderlust. It’s not impossible to travel with more kids…just a very different experience. 🙂

If you were a time traveller, what would you do?

This blog train was initiated by Madeline Heng of MadPsychMum. To find out what 20 other mummy blogger cum time travelers would do with their ‘powers’, click on the badge below.

If I Were a Time Traveller Blog Button (3) 500x500

Next up is Jiahui, a working mummy of three who time travels to relive some of the more precious times in her kids’ lives. She blogs at Mum’s the Word. Read on to find out more!

JahBella’s Mummy

4Mar2015

Why I started Co-Sleeping (Even when I said I wouldn’t!)

Posted in my thoughts, Parenting decisions by jahbella

Before I had Jah, I told myself that I would never allow my child to co-sleep with us and I suppose I almost ‘succeeded’. The closest Jah came to co-sleeping with us was in the first 2-3 months when I would place his portable cot right next to my bed. He was such a colicky baby with horrible reflux and I was often exhausted after putting him to bed that it was really just easier to leave him next to me. I wouldn’t have been able to sleep well if I had to constantly wonder if he was spitting up in his sleep. L However the moment his colic and reflux settled, we ‘shipped’ him off to his own room and cot and relied solely on an audio baby monitor to keep tabs on him. Apart from having to go into his room to sooth him back to sleep once or twice a night or to give him his feeds, it was all working out fine.

I can’t really pinpoint when it started happening but I think it started around the time that I was pregnant with Bella. Jah started needing me to sit with him in his room, with my arms around him while he attempted to go back to sleep. This was extremely straining and tiring for me and I soon learnt that the easiest way was to bring him over to my bed and just hug him to sleep while I dozed off as well.

This was how our new arrangement started, some 2 years ago or so….with me putting Jah to bed in his own room at 9pm and him proceeding to wake up anytime between 11pm to 5am. He would sit in bed and call for me or walk over to my room on his own (if he is conscious enough) and everyone would continue to have their good night’s sleep.

At some point last year, Joel jokingly asked me what if Jah was still in our bed in Primary school…haha I know that’s a pretty scary thought! However I think deep down we both do know that as much as this co-sleeping sometimes feels alittle annoying and uncomfortable especially when he takes up 2/3 of our bed (yes a 3 year old can take up 2/3 of the bed!) We both also realize that this is not going to last forever.

Photo credit: howtobeadad.com

I really can’t blame the little boy for coming to my bed every night because as strange as it is…we need him as much as he needs us. This co-sleeping thing has become as much of a habit for him as it has for us. In fact Joel confessed a few nights ago that he finds it hard to fall asleep when Jah isn’t there…oh my goodness! Me too!

Photo credit: http://www.someecards.com/

So if you ask me now, is co-sleeping with your baby/ child unhealthy? Ermm yes I suppose so since both parents have also become dependent on it :p But would I choose to do it again, now that I know of the ‘outcome’. Yes most definitely! Nothing beats being able to watch my child snooze and hug the little sleeping monkey to sleep! Nothing beats waking up to his good mornings, bright smile and crazy singing (unless its 6am of course). I’ll do it again and I’ll keep doing it now because I know these moments won’t last forever and I am going to enjoy it while I can now…:)

JahBella’s Mummy