To the mum whose kid we met at the playground yesterday.

Dear Mum whose kid we met at the playground yesterday,

We met your 10 year old son at the playground yesterday. He is an exceptionally articulate and compassionate young man. He saw that my son was apprehensive about scaling the netted tower (he attempted it two weeks back and never made it to 2nd tier) and your son encouraged him. He showed him how to do it and he put his fears to rest. He didn’t pressure him or make fun of him when he was too scared to attempt the subsequent tiers. My son made it to the 2nd tier on his first try that morning, thanks to your son.

Oh don’t get me wrong, I too encouraged my son . I too told him that he can do it. And I sure tried to show him how to do it (although that proved to be alittle challenging for me). I made up for that by trying to give him a little physical boost to the 2nd tier. It didn’t work. The fear crippled him. Your son did what I could not do. Sometimes they just need to hear it from someone else other than their parents. And that morning, your son was the perfect someone else.

The older brother. The role model. The competition. The ally. All rolled into one. Your son spent the next hour playing with my boy. They scaled towers. They skate scooted around the park. They played ball. They laughed, joked and fought. But through all this, your son was kind, patient, respectful and understanding.

Through that hour, I realised that your son was on his own and I got the sense that he is alone a lot. No before you think that I am going to get judge-y here, I’m not. I just want you to know that whatever the reason, whatever the circumstances, you seem to be doing something right. He is the most well-adjusted and independent 10 year old I have ever met. He has a level of situational awareness and maturity that would put many adults to shame.

To the mum whose kid we met at the playground yesterday, thank you.

Thank you for raising a kid who saw beyond my son’s age and size and wanted to be his friend despite my son being half his age.

Thank you for raising a kid whom through his example, allowed me to teach my kid certain life lessons. Lessons on determination, kindness, friendship and what it means to be a big brother.

Thank you for letting your kid play at the playground yesterday. 🙂

JahBella’s Mummy

Be Kind to your Kids’ Teachers 

I read an article that was shared on Facebook today and I thought it was a really good reminder. It reminded me that there are certain things that needed to be said, said to parents with school going children and especially to parents with childcare going children. The article link is here if you would like a read too. 

As an educator and a parent to 2 young child-care going children, I think I am one of the fortunate few.

Fortunate because as an educator, my students are well past the stage of needing to be potty trained, needing to be fed, needing to coaxed to take their naps (in fact I think my students would be quite willing to take naps if asked :p) and needing to be showered and cleaned up after, just to list a few. 

Fortunate because as a parent to 2 young child-care going children, I have an awesome dedicated team of pre-school teachers whom I can rely on to take care of my kids and I can go to work with peace of mind.

However not every educator has it as ‘easy’ as me. Therefore, really, parents be kind to your kids’ teachers.

Be kind because it really takes a lot of dedication, love and commitment for them to be there for your kids every single day. No, they do not get paid a lot and I believe they get through each day because of the sheer love that they have for the little ones they teach and care for.

Be kind because as much as we are tired at the end of each working day and have to deal with our kids and family, these teachers have families and kids that they have to go home to as well. Yes, while we had to deal with adults or adults who act like kids all day, they had to deal with at least 20 screaming kids at some point in the day and perhaps more than once. They are tired. They are drained. But they will be back at school again tomorrow, just because.

Never ever back mouth your kids’ teacher to them. Never ever question their actions in front of your kids or to your kids. Kids pick up quickly and if you question their teachers’ authority or disrespect them, how will your kids learn to trust and respect their teachers?

Please don’t fret the small stuff and stress the teacher out. Please do not harass your kids’ teacher over a missing hanky/ towel/ milk canister..please feel free to fill in the blanks here… Yes, you may be ‘paying good money’ to have your kids taken care of and to have them taught and educated. But do you know how tough it is to keep 1 child or 2 children in check and in line and keep track of their belongings when you go out? Well multiply that by 20. Things go missing, deal with it. Look at the big picture. Cut the teacher some slack..please…

Last but not least, be an ally to your kids’ teachers. Reinforce their teachings. Teach your children to love and respect them. They do not work for you. Work with them.

Be kind to your kids’ teachers.

JahBella’s Mummy

Parenting in 2016 – JahBella Style

I hadn’t intend for this to be my first post of 2016, in fact I didn’t intend to write such a post at all. But as I was reading my first book of 2016 (I only read 1 book last year, goodness!), I realised that I needed to document this as a reminder to myself for the year (and for always).

I just started reading “Don’t make me count to three” which essentially is a Christian Parenting book. I’ve only gotten through a couple of pages but the first few pages truly spoke to me and reminded me of our purpose in our kids’ lives.

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All very timely since I also just read today on social media about how there are tons of people who regret having kids and apparently people are justifying it and making it seem like it is perfectly fine to ‘regret having your kids’.

 
Don’t get me wrong, there are days where we wonder what our lives would be like at that very moment if we decided to have kids later. But I absolutely do not regret having my kids, not even in the craziest and angriest moments do I regret them.

 

There are moments when frustration takes over and in recent days, we have felt these moments more often than we would like to and then I wonder if I am not doing a good enough job with them but regret? NEVER! We adore them and are truly blessed to have them in our lives.

 
Jah seems to be going through a rough time. We seem to be going through a rough time with his behavior and discipline. We have essentially tried every trick in the book but when we get an outburst or when he gets out of control, we just can’t get through to him like we normally do. It’s tiring, trying and altogether downright discouraging especially when we have to juggle work, kids and everything else in between. So when he misbehaves, we find ourselves misbehaving too. As frustration and irritation escalates, we resort to threats, shouting, giving him the cold shoulder and well spanking. Honestly none of which we are proud of and none of which even helps or changes his behaviour.

 
Then the book reminds me that I need to attend to his heart and not his behaviour. It reminded me that as much as I might want to ‘give up’ each time my kids challenge my patience and my sanity and as much as I might want to scream in defeat. I need to remember what I’m here for.

 
I’ve been given a chance to love, nurture, and mould these little beings. There is a reason why they were placed in our hearts and in our home.

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It reminded me of Jah asking where he had come from and why he wasn’t in some of our earlier photos and why he only ‘appeared’ a few years later. It reminded me of my answer to him.

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That he came from heaven, from God and Jesus.
That it took him and his sister alittle while to get to us because God and Jesus needed time to choose 2 of their most special Angels for us.

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And now that they are finally here, it is our turn to take care of them and teach them how to be good children and good people.

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So when patience run dry and tempers run high, we will need to remind ourselves of how blessed we are indeed to have these angels in our lives and focus on helping them as well as ourselves become better people..

 

Starting our parenting lovingly and patiently in 2016…:)

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JahBella’s Mummy

JahBella’s Moments of 2015

It truly has been quite the year and so I thought what better way to close off their year than with a post on JahBella’s Moments of 2015. Some of our milestones, recaps and well just the awesome fun times we have had this last year. So here goes…..JahBella’s Moments of 2015! 🙂

JahBella’s first family holiday with the village!! Lets do it again next year guys!!!

Our first Kid’s run and I’m sure we will be back next year for more runs!

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New job for JahBella’s mummy after 11 years means Jah and Bella have to get used to a new routine and I have to say they have been awesome!! No photos though but I figured it’s worth a mention :p

Bella turns 2! And discovers her love for food? Oh sorry she discovered that a long time ago…both kids discovered their love for seafood!! Lucky us!! 🙂

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We moved out of our first nest after 7 years!!!

JahBella’s Mummy’s 15 minutes of ‘fame’ on Talking Point :p

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 Our trip to Tokyo…Our longest and furthest trip yet with JahBella and our first time travelling as a family of 4….I still can’t believe I survived it and honestly I wouldn’t mind doing it again.

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SG50 Staycation! Fireworks and flypast galore at the padang!

Jah wins his first online competition and gets Mummy a week with the Beetle..yay!!

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We discovered the islands of Singapore with our family!!!

       

Its Halloween! We love dress up! 
 

Our little Superhero is 4!

 

Mummy I’m 4! And I have discovered my love for animals! 🙂
  
 

USS! Where finally everyone can go on rides together (most rides) and we discovered who the thrill seeker in the family is..yes Bella and her love for rollercoasters..oh my! 

Wedding in the family! 1st time as Page Boy and Flower Girl! 

  
 

School Concert 2015! Bella’s first concert!

  
 

Jah’s first time on a public stage! Milestone indeed…#proudmummy  

 A Star Wars kind of Christmas! Jah has developed a love for Star Wars Lets see how long this last 😉   

 

No photos from Christmas yet, given that its Christmas Eve today. However going by their enthusiasm for Christmas, I think its going to be an awesome one!

  
 Merry Christmas everyone!

Happy New Year in advance and we will see you all next year!

In the meantime, follow us on Facebook and Instagram to find out what we will be up to for the last couple of days of 2015! 🙂

Letter to Jah (4 years old)

Dear Jah,

You have just turned 4 years old a couple of days ago and it somehow feels like our little baby is now a little boy. A big boy you might correct me if you heard this now. Your Papa is still in disbelief because it has suddenly hit him/ us that you will be entering Kindergarten in a month’s time. We long to rewind to the days where you were a little colicky baby or when you were just learning to take your first steps. Ok maybe not so far back..:)

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Jah at 4 months old

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First unassisted step at 9 months 3 weeks

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But we know you are excited to grow up..you talk about entering Primary school and you talk about being 18 or 21. You talk about what you want to be when you grow up. Right now your dream profession is to be a clown. Yes I kid you not! You have gone from a ‘parachute pilot’ to an army soldier to finally a clown. Although you did mention last night that you wanted to be a teacher, just like me but your reason was so that we could go to school together. 🙂

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You have become quite a book worm and a Star wars fan

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Being 4 years old is proving to be a trying age for both you and your Papa and I. We absolutely love the conversations we have with you and your hilarious antics but sometimes things get a little out of hand. We love that you are so opinionated because it helps us to learn more about who you are but you are also starting to test the boundaries, push our buttons and well really really assert yourself. The past couple of weeks have been a nightmare to say the least because well apparently everything has to be Jah’s way or the highway. Oh wait a minute, Jah hasn’t come home for a few weeks now because he is climbing the beanstalk with Jack. Yes, you have assumed the identity of a little dog called Goldie and you have renamed my stuff dog ‘An’ (he used to be called Goldie). Yes you have become quite the drama king (in a rather cute and amusing way).

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We love your tender heart and your need to make sure that everyone is taken care of. We love the compassion that you have and the way you seem to understand the world’s big issues in your own little innocent, compassionate 4 year old way.You are mature beyond your years. You have a level of maturity and magnitude for forgiveness that even some adults may not have. We lost your iPad this last week and instead of breaking down and throwing a tantrum like we would expect any 4 year old or even an adult to for that matter. You said these words in the sweetest kindest voice ever, “Its ok Papa, I think the birthday robber came and took my iPad. Its not your fault Papa, its ok.” Ironically we would probably have felt much better if you had just thrown a tantrum but in that moment it felt like our hearts weighed 1,000 tonnes. Perhaps because it was filled with guilt but bursting with pride all at the same time.

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You have just turned 4 years old a couple of days ago and it somehow feels like our little baby is now a little boy. A big boy you might correct me if you heard this now.

But you will always be our little baby.

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JahBella’s Mummy