It’s been awhile since I had last done one of our very over due holiday post and I was hoping to publish one this week but I’m afraid this rant has to take precedence.
This truly has been bugging me for some time and especially so in the last couple of weeks because we have had to deal with some nasty words that are being used at home.
Yes the children have been repeating certain words or phrases which they have picked up from somewhere. Words that we don’t use at all at home, not even in one of our angry moments when words slip so we know they are not ‘acquiring’ these phrases from home. While we know they have expanded their (unsavoury) vocabulary in school, we have total confidence that it is not from their teachers especially since the kids are able to pinpoint the source when they are questioned after being reprimanded. Ok before u let your imagination run wild on what words are being said/ used/ heard, let me clarify that some examples are like words/ phrases such as stupid (used directly on a person), shut your mouth/ shut up, you have no brains is it and fat witch (used on a person of authority). Perhaps these words may seem mild to any normal person and I may look like I’m overreacting but when I try hard to censor myself, the words I expose my kids to and teach them to be respectful, it just kills me that it gets undone just like that. Just because another parent is free with words that he or she uses with/ on his or her child. That being said, I recognise that I have no right to judge or question how someone else is parenting their child so I can only choose to deal with it by reprimanding my child, explaining that these words are not acceptable even if their friend is saying it and hope that a parent’s influence is larger than peer influence.
So then what am I ranting about?
Yes I am ranting about how parents really really need to censor themselves, not in front of their own kids (honestly I can’t help if we differ in opinions on the type of language that should be used) but please censor yourself in front of or when speaking to other people’s kids.
I honestly hope that fellow parents can have alittle more consideration and watch your language/ questions around other people’s kids. I think I have mentioned this before, I absolutely hate it when someone ask me or exclaims “oh why does he wear glasses” or “oh poor thing so young and he is wearing glasses”, right in front of my child. For your info, he is a living person and he can hear you. He also happens to have feelings, a sense of self worth and also understands English.
I also take offence when you approach my child and ask him questions about his appearance/ skin condition/ size. Unless you are a family member or his teacher, you have no business asking if all you are trying to do is satisfy your own curiosity. Because whatever your intention, good or bad, the child will not be able to discern. All he understood from the question, is the fact that an adult asked me about my appearance therefore there must be something different or wrong about it. And the last thing I want for my child is self confidence issues just because you were curious.
Just as no one (at least most people, safe for the ones with no EQ) would go up to another adult and ask why do you have pimples or why is your skin so oily or why are you so short? I think kids should be accorded with the same ‘respect’. Why should it be ok to flat out ask a kid such questions which serve no purpose to you anyway. Trust me I too am curious a lot but there is a line and some lines should not be crossed.
So yes bottom line, this is a rant and a reminder to myself and to other parents that kids are humans too, they have feelings, they are very aware and we as adults and as parents really need to learn to censor ourselves. Not just with adults because it is the politically right thing to do but also when speaking to or around a kid (because it is the decent thing to do) And to be absolutely blunt about it, if you can’t then I would rather you not speak to me or my child.