I have to admit that I may at some point have been guilty of some of these things so to help remind myself and for the better of womankind…here is a list of things you should never say to a mother. Yes especially if you are a mother yourself (we should all know better).
- Never ask a woman or a mother if she is pregnant. We all know how sensitive these issues can be, so do yourself and the other person a favor and just don’t ask! Let’s put it this way, if she wanted you to know, she will find a way to let you know. If she is, everyone will eventually know and you wouldn’t have to ask and look silly right?
- When you see someone’s child in spectacles/ leg brace/ or perhaps find out that they are attending therapy or lessons to help with learning issue. Please NEVER EVER go “oh so poor thing”, especially in front of the child (by the way they can hear you and unless you are speaking your own weird language, they understand what you are saying!) I would like to point out that there is nothing ‘poor thing’ about any of the above situation especially if it is being addressed. There is nothing bad about a parent accepting that his/her child needs early intervention regardless of what type and we do not need to make them feel like there is something wrong with the situation or their child.
- Never tell a mother what toys her child should or shouldn’t be playing with. Don’t get me wrong, we all love recommendations and tips to make our parenting journey easier. But we don’t appreciate being told what to do or worse still someone insinuating that we are doing a crappy job. I believe this also applies to the food we allow/ disallow of kids to eat.
- Never tell a mother that you haven’t seen her since her child was born. It is one thing to have her best intentions at heart and perhaps you would like to volunteer babysitting so she can get away for 5 minutes? But it’s an entirely different thing if you are whinning about the fact that she doesn’t have time for you or a girls night out, you get the idea. I doubt she has taken an uninterrupted shower since her child was born so yes personally I’ll choose uninterrupted shower time. 😉
- Lastly, never ask a mother any question that you and I know, is just going lead to you judging her parenting skills/ decisions. Need some examples?
- Oh you are not breastfeeding anymore? + The “oh so poor thing” look to the child
- You are still breastfeeding? + The “skeptical – isn’t this child too old to still be breastfeeding” look
- Oh you allow your child to use a pacifier/ suck his thumb?
And the list goes on….
And to all mummies hang in there! Regardless of what anyone ask/says/ insinuates, just remember that you are doing the best for yourself and your child.
I personally live by the belief that if I am going to make a parenting mistake (we all do at some point), it should be my mistake and not because I chose to live by someone else’s opinions. 🙂
Deep breath mummies!