Royal Caribbean – Mariner of the Seas – JahBella Part 4 (Ice-Skating and a Parenting lesson for me)

Posted in Cruise, Parenting decisions by jahbella

I have to say that I was super proud of Jah during this cruise trip. Not only was he a lot nicer to his sister and really attempted to take care of her. He had even at some point during the trip, asked that they take a professional photo together and said that he would hold her hand. (That shot was almost successful until the photographer asked them to step back alittle and then his sister fell backwards into the backdrop :x)

That aside, Jah made his first attempt at ice-skating! Well ok mummy and daddy also made their first attempt at it and honestly it was a mean feat for 3 people with no experience in ice-skating to hold onto each other while ‘skating’ around the edge of the rink. Jah showed us his determination and perseverance in wanting to do more rounds despite it being a pretty scary and difficult first try around the rink. We could tell he was giving his best even though his legs were all jelly by the time he got through round 2.

First session of the morning (there were 3 one-hour sessions in all)

Skaters getting fitted out for their session

Waiting for our session to start (can barely contain his glee!)

Jah’s first attempt at ice-skating also taught me a very important lesson in parenting. The first thing he said to me at the end of the session was “mummy? I’m not very good at ice-skating.” That statement shocked me at first and then my heart broke alittle. I didn’t quite know how to respond immediately. I realized that somehow along the way, my 3 year old was starting to feel the pressures of today’s society, to perform and excel at everything he does even if it was the first time he was attempting something. Trying hard was not good enough. He had to be very good at it.

I was thankful for this insight in his thoughts. I almost instinctively replied no, you are awesome at ice-skating which he would definitely have figured for a lie. Instead I told him that yes, just like him, mummy and papa were not very good at ice-skating too but it was our first try. The most important thing was the fact that we tried our best and maybe next time we will be better at it or maybe we won’t be. He is good at a lot of other things and as long as he enjoyed himself earlier, it really doesn’t matter.

I could see the relief written all over his face after that and he perked up and said that he wanted to try ice-skating again next time. 🙂 Phew for mummy too!

A point to note for those who would like to attempt ice-skating onboard the ship, do remember to bring socks and be dressed in long pants. Helmets, ice-skates and knee guards will be provided. Oh yes and a sweater especially for the kids would be helpful (it was freezing!).

Pirate Photo shoot opportunity after our breakfast

More photos with the Pirate to occupy the 1 hour waiting time outside the skating rink

Little sister not as impressed as the brother..

Next Up…Johnny Rockets and the Madagascar Parade

JahBella’s Mummy

27Jan2015

How do you explain Death when you are trying to teach Life?

Posted in Our Thoughts, Parenting decisions by jahbella

I was going to pen my thought on this on my Facebook Status Update but then I realize it wouldn’t do the topic or the feelings I have of it, any justice.

So how did this topic/ thought come up?

As you would know Jah has just turned 3 and like any other 3 year old, he is only just discovering this wider world around him in the social sense of it. He is just trying to grasp the fact that the people who come to play with him every weekend and whom he calls Aunty/ Uncle are his mummy’s meimeis and didi. He is just wrapping his little head around the fact that his mummy is also someone else’s jiejie. He is just starting to understand that his Papa and Mummy also have their own Papa and Mummy. He is also just learning about how babies grow in tummies and need to stay there for awhile before they can ‘come out’ and play (Thanks Aunty Chelsea for being the ‘textbook’ for that lesson 😉 – he is very excited to meet the baby btw).

So while we are trying to teach him lessons about new life, family, relationships and marriages. It is really tough when the topic of death has to be addressed. While the topic is probably inevitable at some point, I really wish I didn’t have to address it, at 3 years old. (Note I don’t allow the words ‘kill’ or ‘die’ to be used at home, rather we say faint when talking about the superheroes slaying the bad guys). So to explain death is especially tough when we have to tread carefully around some words.

The topic also becomes super unavoidable when his question to me was “mummy, where is your mummy?” and “why your mummy never stay with my uncles and aunties? “

I thought I was prepared for that question but putting it all into words, is harder than I had expected. How do I explain this to him, without scaring him? How do I explain it to him without trivializing my own mother’s existence? And how do I explain it to him, without him harboring hopes of seeing her at the next family gathering?

This was the conversation we had (in the darkness of his room) and my haphazardly put together answer. I can tell you, I still do not have a better answer/ approach after pondering about this for days after.

Jah: mummy, where is your mummy? why she never stay with my uncles and aunties? She stay at other people’s house?

Me: Oh. My mummy…ermm..my mummy is staying with Jesus Papa (aka God) at his house. (On hindsight, I should probably have given the place a name – heaven).

Jah: Why she stay at Jesus Papa house?

Me: She is staying at his house because he needs her to help him. He needs her to help look after the good people.

Jah: And the babies.

Me: Yes and the babies.

Though the conversation was short and ended as abruptly as it had started, it felt like one of the longest and toughest conversations I have ever had with him. How do you explain death and the existence of a loved one they will never meet?

His last statement left me to wonder if he had more insight into heaven than I know about (But that’s another topic for another day )

More importantly, I know that this is not going to be the first conversation we have about death and my mum. I know many of us will have to explain this to our child at some point. It is not going to be an easy moment but yet a moment we really want to honour. An opportunity to talk to them about that someone we wished they had a chance to know.

Learning to explain death while teaching them about life…

JahBella’s Mummy

18Jan2015

Why your kids may think you are confused?

Posted in Our Thoughts, Parenting decisions by jahbella

Aren’t we parents supposed to have our act together all the time? We should know everything or so we would like our kids to think. And we most certainly are not confused, heaven forbid they ever know that we have confused moments! However some of the things we say or do may cause our kids to think otherwise. :p

What time should I wake up?

Jah gets up at approximately 7am on most mornings (I say most because sometimes he thinks that 6am is a fabulous time especially on weekends). So on most mornings (weekdays) I try my best to get his butt out of bed as quickly as possible. Weekend is a different story all together, on weekends he tries his best to get my butt out of bed while I repeatedly tell him to go back to sleep. On weekday mornings, I also talk to him in my most animated and liveliest voice possible to excite him about going to school. While on weekends, our conversations are conducted with my eyes closed and yes a grunt from me counts as a conversation.

Where should I sleep?

Our bedtime routine would start with me putting Jah to bed in his room at 9pm. Every now and then Jah would try his luck and ask if he could fall asleep in my bed, to which the answer is always “No, you are a big boy now and you have to sleep in your own bed.” He will then proceed to wake up at around 1am to 2am, to look for me. Sitting in his room while I wait for him to fall asleep, is truly the least appealing and most frustrating thing in the world, especially when I had just been awoken from a deep sleep. So every night without fail, I will walk into his room when he wakes and ask if he would like to come to my room (at least I am in my nice comfy bed while he falls asleep). Sometimes he tells me no and then I will proceed to harass him until he says yes and we ‘pack’ up his blanket, pillow and teddy and head over to mummy’s bed.

Potty or Diapers?

I might have been guilty of this once or twice before or I most certainly had entertained the thought. This was something I definitely struggled with, in the early days of potty training. You know the early days where your child isn’t fully potty trained and he was still in diapers during occasions like bedtime or outings? Do you remember the moments when that little child would turn to you and go “mummy I need to pee” and your response to him was “it’s ok, you can pee in your diapers”, just because it was more convenient/ you were feeling alittle too tired/ lazy to deal with this now. :p

How big/small am I?

I’m sure age and size has featured very often in our reasoning/ explanations/ excuses to our kids. “No you are too small/ young so you are not allowed to do this, wait till you are older” or “You are a big boy now so you shouldn’t behave like this”. If I were my kid, I would probably ask me once and for all, so am I big or small? Make up your mind mummy!

Being a parent is tough, trying to keep track of the excuses/ reasons we give our children and making sure they all match up. Being consistent is especially tough when you only have sleep in mind. It’s really hard to think like a mum when you are in a sleep induced state. However I have to say being a kid is even tougher especially when mummy is so confused. They probably wished they could shake some sense into us. 😉

How confused are you? 🙂

JahBella’s Mummy

5Dec2014

Jah’s First Movie Date and Review on Penguins of Madagascar

Posted in Movies, Parenting decisions, Uncategorized by jahbella

I brought Jah to watch his second movie @ the cinema today. This was meant to be a post school concert ‘reward’ and the chosen movie (Penguins of Madagascar) was rather apt, after all he was a penguin from Madgascar in his school dance. 🙂

I also took the opportunity to make it a ‘playdate’ with one of his friends from childcare. Jah rarely/ has almost never been on a play date. Given that he goes to full day childcare 5 days a week, it has never been a real need. However I recently noticed that Jah has started talking about his friends/ best friends a lot more and has been wanting to invite them to play or even to go on holidays with him :p I figured this will be a good time to help develop his social skills and progressing to the next milestone of interacting rather than playing alone, in a group. I was excited to see if he really could interact with his friend 🙂 It was really nice to see the two of them sit together and ‘chit chat’, from little 18 month olds who would ignore each other to friends at 3 years old. In fact I think I saw glimpses of them getting ready to conspire against us adults.

Now onto my review for Penguins of Madagascar. I was abit apprehensive about the movie. Jah’s first movie was Planes – Fire and Rescue (something he was very familiar with) but Penguins of Madagascar was something totally new to him. Having said that, he sat through the entire movie without moving out of his seat once and he talked a lot less and asked a lot less questions. Perhaps he was getting more familiar with the movie concept but I have to say the rapid and continuous action sequences in the movie helped. While there was enough witty dialogue to amuse the adults, the dialogue was almost always interlaced with an action sequence and it kept him very entertained. The plot was also simple enough for him to understand without asking too many questions about what was happening or what this or that character said. Definitely a good and fun movie to bring the kids to.

The only drawback? Jah woke up from his nap and the first thing he said was “mummy we didn’t take photo in front of the Penguins poster! There was no penguins poster like the planes fire and rescue!” Yes so I wished we could have had a photo op spot :p I guess my only ‘complaint’.

JahBella’s Mummy

27Nov2014

What would you do if you spotted a strange bruise on your child?

Posted in Our Thoughts, Parenting decisions, School Issues by jahbella

As we were sending Jah to school this morning, Joel spotted that Jah had a really bad bruise-like mark on the tip of one of his ear lobes. He pointed it out to me and we couldn’t exactly pin point how he might have gotten it. An insect bite? (Too big to be from an insect) From a classmate? (Too ‘precise’ to be from a young child) From a knock? (When?) From a teacher? (Can’t imagine who) From himself? (How?)

I also remembered spotting a similar bruise a few weeks back over his birthday weekend. I decided not to remind Joel as I could tell that our imaginations were starting to run a little wild.

What would you do in that same position?

I think most parents who leave their kids with their domestic helper or a childcare would have immediately started questioning the caretaker. I would probably have done the same if not for the fact that we had no reason to doubt our childcare and the teachers have been splendid so far but yes I admit that fleeting thought did cross my mind.

Instead I told Joel to relax and that there was no point making assumptions, and I would try to have out what happened from Jah tonight.

So this was our conversation tonight

Me: Jah, can I ask u a question? There is a bruise on your ear over here. Is it painful?
Jah: no.
Me: oh but it looks quite bad. Did you hurt yourself? Someone pull your ear or did someone ask u to pull ur ear?
Jah: yes someone ask me to pull my ear.
Me: Oic..who asked u to do that? *starting to worry but tried to remain calm*
Jah: teacher xxx
Me: oh really *i was starting to be alittle skeptical because I couldn’t imagine that this particular teacher would ask him to pull his ears as punishment*
Jah: yes! Teacher xxx says “if you’re happy and you know you pull your ears!” *giggles*
Me: ohhhhhh so that’s why u pulled ur ears!
*wanting to be extra sure*
Me: can you show me how u did it?

And yes he pulls at the exact spot where the bruise is, with his tiny little fingers! (And by the way he claims that it doesn’t hurt and that it is ‘just nice’)

The reason I am sharing this is because I learnt a few things through this experience

1) we are often quick to assume, judge and imagine the worst. (We imagined all the different scenarios and almost arrived at what we thought was the most convenient or plausible one. I also assume that pulling ears meant that it was a punishment and could have jumped to the wrong conclusion)

2) sometimes we don’t even believe what our kids are telling us and often it’s because we never wait for the full story or we don’t ask the right questions of them

3) we have to give our kids more credit for it (The bruise was not bothering him the least bit, it was all part of play. We should also have faith that they would be able to tell us if something wasn’t right. Or at least it is our job to educate them to do so).

Something that could have seriously been blown out of proportion, was at the end of the day, quite a funny and enlightening conversation between me and my boy.

Jahbella’s Mummy