As we were sending Jah to school this morning, Joel spotted that Jah had a really bad bruise-like mark on the tip of one of his ear lobes. He pointed it out to me and we couldn’t exactly pin point how he might have gotten it. An insect bite? (Too big to be from an insect) From a classmate? (Too ‘precise’ to be from a young child) From a knock? (When?) From a teacher? (Can’t imagine who) From himself? (How?)
I also remembered spotting a similar bruise a few weeks back over his birthday weekend. I decided not to remind Joel as I could tell that our imaginations were starting to run a little wild.
What would you do in that same position?
I think most parents who leave their kids with their domestic helper or a childcare would have immediately started questioning the caretaker. I would probably have done the same if not for the fact that we had no reason to doubt our childcare and the teachers have been splendid so far but yes I admit that fleeting thought did cross my mind.
Instead I told Joel to relax and that there was no point making assumptions, and I would try to have out what happened from Jah tonight.
So this was our conversation tonight
Me: Jah, can I ask u a question? There is a bruise on your ear over here. Is it painful?
Me: oh but it looks quite bad. Did you hurt yourself? Someone pull your ear or did someone ask u to pull ur ear?
Jah: yes someone ask me to pull my ear.
Me: Oic..who asked u to do that? *starting to worry but tried to remain calm*
Jah: teacher xxx
Me: oh really *i was starting to be alittle skeptical because I couldn’t imagine that this particular teacher would ask him to pull his ears as punishment*
Jah: yes! Teacher xxx says “if you’re happy and you know you pull your ears!” *giggles*
Me: ohhhhhh so that’s why u pulled ur ears!
*wanting to be extra sure*
Me: can you show me how u did it?
And yes he pulls at the exact spot where the bruise is, with his tiny little fingers! (And by the way he claims that it doesn’t hurt and that it is ‘just nice’)
The reason I am sharing this is because I learnt a few things through this experience
1) we are often quick to assume, judge and imagine the worst. (We imagined all the different scenarios and almost arrived at what we thought was the most convenient or plausible one. I also assume that pulling ears meant that it was a punishment and could have jumped to the wrong conclusion)
2) sometimes we don’t even believe what our kids are telling us and often it’s because we never wait for the full story or we don’t ask the right questions of them
3) we have to give our kids more credit for it (The bruise was not bothering him the least bit, it was all part of play. We should also have faith that they would be able to tell us if something wasn’t right. Or at least it is our job to educate them to do so).
Something that could have seriously been blown out of proportion, was at the end of the day, quite a funny and enlightening conversation between me and my boy.