To the Mum whose kid we met at the playground yesterday.

Dear Mum whose kid we met at the playground yesterday,

We met your 10 year old son at the playground yesterday. He is an exceptionally articulate and compassionate young man. He saw that my son was apprehensive about scaling the netted tower (he attempted it two weeks back and never made it to 2nd tier) and your son encouraged him. He showed him how to do it and he put his fears to rest. He didn’t pressure him or make fun of him when he was too scared to attempt the subsequent tiers. My son made it to the 2nd tier on his first try that morning, thanks to your son.

Oh don’t get me wrong, I too encouraged my son . I too told him that he can do it. And I sure tried to show him how to do it (although that proved to be alittle challenging for me). I made up for that by trying to give him a little physical boost to the 2nd tier. It didn’t work. The fear crippled him. Your son did what I could not do. Sometimes they just need to hear it from someone else other than their parents. And that morning, your son was the perfect someone else.

The older brother. The role model. The competition. The ally. All rolled into one. Your son spent the next hour playing with my boy. They scaled towers. They skate scooted around the park. They played ball. They laughed, joked and fought. But through all this, your son was kind, patient, respectful and understanding.

Through that hour, I realised that your son was on his own and I got the sense that he is alone a lot. No before you think that I am going to get judge-y here, I’m not. I just want you to know that whatever the reason, whatever the circumstances, you seem to be doing something right. He is the most well-adjusted and independent 10 year old I have ever met. He has a level of situational awareness and maturity that would put many adults to shame.

To the mum whose kid we met at the playground yesterday, thank you.

Thank you for raising a kid who saw beyond my son’s age and size and wanted to be his friend despite my son being half his age.

Thank you for raising a kid whom through his example, allowed me to teach my kid certain life lessons. Lessons on determination, kindness, friendship and what it means to be a big brother.

Thank you for letting your kid play at the playground yesterday. 🙂

JahBella’s Mummy

To the mum whose kid we met at the playground yesterday.

Dear Mum whose kid we met at the playground yesterday,

We met your 10 year old son at the playground yesterday. He is an exceptionally articulate and compassionate young man. He saw that my son was apprehensive about scaling the netted tower (he attempted it two weeks back and never made it to 2nd tier) and your son encouraged him. He showed him how to do it and he put his fears to rest. He didn’t pressure him or make fun of him when he was too scared to attempt the subsequent tiers. My son made it to the 2nd tier on his first try that morning, thanks to your son.

Oh don’t get me wrong, I too encouraged my son . I too told him that he can do it. And I sure tried to show him how to do it (although that proved to be alittle challenging for me). I made up for that by trying to give him a little physical boost to the 2nd tier. It didn’t work. The fear crippled him. Your son did what I could not do. Sometimes they just need to hear it from someone else other than their parents. And that morning, your son was the perfect someone else.

The older brother. The role model. The competition. The ally. All rolled into one. Your son spent the next hour playing with my boy. They scaled towers. They skate scooted around the park. They played ball. They laughed, joked and fought. But through all this, your son was kind, patient, respectful and understanding.

Through that hour, I realised that your son was on his own and I got the sense that he is alone a lot. No before you think that I am going to get judge-y here, I’m not. I just want you to know that whatever the reason, whatever the circumstances, you seem to be doing something right. He is the most well-adjusted and independent 10 year old I have ever met. He has a level of situational awareness and maturity that would put many adults to shame.

To the mum whose kid we met at the playground yesterday, thank you.

Thank you for raising a kid who saw beyond my son’s age and size and wanted to be his friend despite my son being half his age.

Thank you for raising a kid whom through his example, allowed me to teach my kid certain life lessons. Lessons on determination, kindness, friendship and what it means to be a big brother.

Thank you for letting your kid play at the playground yesterday. 🙂

JahBella’s Mummy

Be Kind to your Kids’ Teachers 

I read an article that was shared on Facebook today and I thought it was a really good reminder. It reminded me that there are certain things that needed to be said, said to parents with school going children and especially to parents with childcare going children. The article link is here if you would like a read too. 

As an educator and a parent to 2 young child-care going children, I think I am one of the fortunate few.

Fortunate because as an educator, my students are well past the stage of needing to be potty trained, needing to be fed, needing to coaxed to take their naps (in fact I think my students would be quite willing to take naps if asked :p) and needing to be showered and cleaned up after, just to list a few. 

Fortunate because as a parent to 2 young child-care going children, I have an awesome dedicated team of pre-school teachers whom I can rely on to take care of my kids and I can go to work with peace of mind.

However not every educator has it as ‘easy’ as me. Therefore, really, parents be kind to your kids’ teachers.

Be kind because it really takes a lot of dedication, love and commitment for them to be there for your kids every single day. No, they do not get paid a lot and I believe they get through each day because of the sheer love that they have for the little ones they teach and care for.

Be kind because as much as we are tired at the end of each working day and have to deal with our kids and family, these teachers have families and kids that they have to go home to as well. Yes, while we had to deal with adults or adults who act like kids all day, they had to deal with at least 20 screaming kids at some point in the day and perhaps more than once. They are tired. They are drained. But they will be back at school again tomorrow, just because.

Never ever back mouth your kids’ teacher to them. Never ever question their actions in front of your kids or to your kids. Kids pick up quickly and if you question their teachers’ authority or disrespect them, how will your kids learn to trust and respect their teachers?

Please don’t fret the small stuff and stress the teacher out. Please do not harass your kids’ teacher over a missing hanky/ towel/ milk canister..please feel free to fill in the blanks here… Yes, you may be ‘paying good money’ to have your kids taken care of and to have them taught and educated. But do you know how tough it is to keep 1 child or 2 children in check and in line and keep track of their belongings when you go out? Well multiply that by 20. Things go missing, deal with it. Look at the big picture. Cut the teacher some slack..please…

Last but not least, be an ally to your kids’ teachers. Reinforce their teachings. Teach your children to love and respect them. They do not work for you. Work with them.

Be kind to your kids’ teachers.

JahBella’s Mummy

Jah’s 2nd dental appointment and losing his 2 front teeth + Tips on what to look for with mouth injuries in kids

We brought Jah for his 2nd dental appointment yesterday. He had his first dental check at 3 years old and so this was long overdue because we had to postpone a Nov appointment due to HFMD.

Prior to this appointment, we were concerned about the little cavity that the dentist had found on one of his tooth a year ago. We were told to allow it to remineralise by applying fluoride on it and not eating/ drinking milk after the last brush at night. We were worried that it might have gotten worse since he had only recently agreed to stop taking his milk after his last brush.

Little did we know that the cavity was going to be the least of our concerns. During his first appointment, the dentist also pointed out that one of his front tooth had turned ‘grey’ which usually is the sign of a dead nerve/ dead tooth after trauma. We recalled that Jah had a bump to the chin when he was about 2 years old and that was probably the trauma that had caused the ‘dead or dying nerve’

At that point we were told that as long as there was no inflammation, gum swelling, bleeding or pus from the gums then everything should be fine. (Infection resulting from injury to the teeth could flare up anytime within 3 years of the injury).

Jah hadn’t exhibit any of the above warning signs so we thought that we were in the clear of any abscess to his tooth. Fortunately or unfortunately, Bella head butted him in the teeth 2 days before this 2nd appointment. This led to his lips and gums bruising and swelling up. When the dentist saw this, she was immediately concerned as she was now unable to tell if the swelling was purely from the recent injury or that he might have had swelling prior already.

 

The swelling immediately after his sister headbutted him

 
Long story short, she decided to X-ray his front 4 teeth and found that the root of 1 of front tooth was showing signs of reabsorption (which meant that it could fall off sooner rather than later) and that the root of the ‘dying / dead’ tooth wasn’t as ‘clear’ as the rest anymore. 

 

The swelling on the day of his appointment. You don’t see anything right? But apparently enough swelling and bruising underneath for her to be concerned.

 
On top of that, she found that an abscess had developed in the gums close to the ‘dying/ dead’ tooth. This meant that it was probably a matter of time before it ‘erupted’ and his gums would start swelling and giving out pus. The way to prevent further damage or eventual pain would be to pull out both front teeth! Yes lose the two front tooth now and wait 2-3 years for the adult ones to come out! Oh my goodness! (The treatment for baby tooth is extraction whereas the treatment for an adult tooth would usually be a root canal procedure) 

However as she was unable to tell how serious his situation was due to the new injury, she wanted to wait and see if the swelling would subside. It should subside within 2 weeks if it was purely due to the recent injury. So now we are waiting for the swelling to subside and we are due to have a review in a month’s time.

This review would essentially tell us if there is any immediate need to remove his 2 front teeth or if we can wait it out a little while more and pray that the abscess does not erupt before his 2 front tooth decide to drop off naturally when he reaches approximately 7 years old.

We are prepping ourselves for the possibility that both teeth might need to go sooner rather than later and he would need to take the GA route (which is another nightmare) on top of not having his 2 front teeth for a good 3 years. 😦

Well on the bright side, the rest of his teeth look a-ok and his earlier cavity has not grown any bigger so we are all good as long as we are ok with not having his two front teeth for Christmas (or the next few Christmases) :/

Here are some tips for fellow parents when it comes to dental reviews and mouth injuries that we picked up from the dentist and from our own research. 

1) You might like to bring your little ones for their first dental appointment around 3 years old. This will help you deduct any potential problems and nip the problem in the bud or at least take preventive actions

2) If your kid has had a mouth injury or trauma to the mouth/ teeth, do look out for any swelling, fever or pus and see a doctor/ dentist if there are these signs.

3) If your kid has had a mouth injury or trauma to the mouth/ teeth, look out for any tooth darkening or greying as this is a sign of a dying or dead nerve/ tooth. If you do spot the tooth darkening, then start monitoring your kid’s mouth for abscess (pus from the gums or swelling). Bring your kid to the dentist immediately if you spot any of the symptoms. Remember these symptoms can show up within 3 years of the injury or trauma.

4) Do brush your kid’s teeth with proper fluoride toothpaste as soon as they are able to gargle and spit. The baby toothpaste are of no use at all. That being said, do still brush them even if they are not ready for fluoride toothpaste. The fluoride toothpaste should state clearly that it had at least 1300ppm.

5) If your kid has a cavity, you can apply a dab of fluoride toothpaste on the cavity after brushing. You do not need to rinse off that dab of toothpaste. This is to help the cavity remineralise and keep it from growing bigger. That being said, please bring your child to a dentist if you spot cavities as they would be in the best position to treat in case the cavity is a lot worse than what we have in Jah’s case.

6) Last but not least, try not to use the dentist as scare tactics for the kids as it would make your job of taking them to one in future a lot harder. Tell them that the dentist is there to help them kill off the germs in their mouths. Works especially well for boys when you use shooting and battling germs as an scenario. 🙂

Wish us luck for our review and if you do spot Jah without his 2 front teeth then you know why..Smile away little ones!

 

I hope we get to keep these 2 front teeth for another 3 years at least *crossing fingers*

 
JahBella’s Mummy

Parenting in 2016 – JahBella Style

I hadn’t intend for this to be my first post of 2016, in fact I didn’t intend to write such a post at all. But as I was reading my first book of 2016 (I only read 1 book last year, goodness!), I realised that I needed to document this as a reminder to myself for the year (and for always).

I just started reading “Don’t make me count to three” which essentially is a Christian Parenting book. I’ve only gotten through a couple of pages but the first few pages truly spoke to me and reminded me of our purpose in our kids’ lives.

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All very timely since I also just read today on social media about how there are tons of people who regret having kids and apparently people are justifying it and making it seem like it is perfectly fine to ‘regret having your kids’.

 
Don’t get me wrong, there are days where we wonder what our lives would be like at that very moment if we decided to have kids later. But I absolutely do not regret having my kids, not even in the craziest and angriest moments do I regret them.

 

There are moments when frustration takes over and in recent days, we have felt these moments more often than we would like to and then I wonder if I am not doing a good enough job with them but regret? NEVER! We adore them and are truly blessed to have them in our lives.

 
Jah seems to be going through a rough time. We seem to be going through a rough time with his behavior and discipline. We have essentially tried every trick in the book but when we get an outburst or when he gets out of control, we just can’t get through to him like we normally do. It’s tiring, trying and altogether downright discouraging especially when we have to juggle work, kids and everything else in between. So when he misbehaves, we find ourselves misbehaving too. As frustration and irritation escalates, we resort to threats, shouting, giving him the cold shoulder and well spanking. Honestly none of which we are proud of and none of which even helps or changes his behaviour.

 
Then the book reminds me that I need to attend to his heart and not his behaviour. It reminded me that as much as I might want to ‘give up’ each time my kids challenge my patience and my sanity and as much as I might want to scream in defeat. I need to remember what I’m here for.

 
I’ve been given a chance to love, nurture, and mould these little beings. There is a reason why they were placed in our hearts and in our home.

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It reminded me of Jah asking where he had come from and why he wasn’t in some of our earlier photos and why he only ‘appeared’ a few years later. It reminded me of my answer to him.

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That he came from heaven, from God and Jesus.
That it took him and his sister alittle while to get to us because God and Jesus needed time to choose 2 of their most special Angels for us.

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And now that they are finally here, it is our turn to take care of them and teach them how to be good children and good people.

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So when patience run dry and tempers run high, we will need to remind ourselves of how blessed we are indeed to have these angels in our lives and focus on helping them as well as ourselves become better people..

 

Starting our parenting lovingly and patiently in 2016…:)

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JahBella’s Mummy