I often hear women say that they feel like less of a mother or that they don’t feel like they have ‘given birth’ because they had a c-section birth and didn’t go through labour. And as much as I tell myself that thought is rubbish, I have also had my envious moments when I read/ hear of friends having a natural birth and ‘better’ still go without any pain relief. I suppose this might ring in as one of the top regrets for any c-section mummy if you asked what she wished she could change about her entire pregnancy journey.
Today I read a post online and it slapped some sense back into me. :p While I have to say the post was alittle extreme, it got its point across and got me thinking. Article Link
So while I envy/ admire/ take my hat off to all natural birth mummies, here are some reasons why I feel that a C-section doesn’t make you any less a woman or a mother. In fact we should wear our C-section mummy badge with honour! 🙂
Who said I didn’t have to go through labour
This may or may not apply to all c-section mummies but I know a lot of us had to go through labour pain and succumb to pain relief solutions before we finally had our c-section. I personally had to go through an 18 hour labour with Jah including major sideffects like vomiting and shivering, before my doctor told me that Jah was in distress and we had to do a c-section. Some may even say we had to endure the labour pain before birth and the c-section pain after birth – double whammy! For those mummies who had to proceed straight to a c-section without the labour pains, they didn’t have it easy either. In fact it was probably for very scary/ health threatening reasons that they could not even have natural birth as an option.
Major Operation and the works!
Yes, a c-section is a major operation! Everything around you feels cold and mechanical. However we are pretty lucky that we get to choose between an epidural and G.A today. This at least allows us to see our baby almost immediately after he/she leaves our womb (if we choose an epidural) and also have our husband by our side. It makes it a little less scary and lonely. I can’t imagine how my mother had 5 c-sections in her time (under G.A) and how scary to not see your baby/ know what was going on until you come around. While I couldn’t fully fathom how major the operation was when it was happening (I really just wanted to get my baby out!), I think the entire process really stressed Joel out. Total mixed feelings for the daddies who are excited to finally see their baby but feeling totally helpless seeing their wife on an operating table. I have to applaud the c-section daddies who sit by their wives in the operating theatre, not an easy time for sure.
The Recovery Process Sucks!
So now that we are back in our hospital bed, we can’t move. Yes most c-section mummies have an approximate 10cm wound to care for. So on top of dealing with this new pain, we are also trying to carry our newborn properly for the first time since the operating theatre. It hurts like hell because there is no comfortable position to hold the baby and it gets worse when you try to breast feed and perhaps rest the baby on top of a pillow which conveniently needs to rest on your very fresh wound. The recovery process begins when you try and get out of bed and take your first steps. The doctor will tell you to try and do this as soon as you can. I personally agree and I think the longer you stay in bed, the harder it is to overcome the pain. So yes, c-section mummies are expected to make an almost miraculous recovery within a few hours of their major operation. All this is also expected to happen amidst a flurry of visitors coming in and out of your room, you getting used to your new role as mother and provider to that little baby and last but not least you are expected to be super duper happy and always smiling! I will not talk about what goes on in the toilet, you can read the above post for details. :p
Long After Its Over
Long after everything is over, life resumes and you and me like any mummy, all deal with our everyday life and parenting in the way we know how (regardless and indifferent to the type of birth we had to endure).
Every now and then I feel alittle ‘sad’ or ‘incomplete’ that I did not get to have my natural birth then I think back to the moment when I am play fighting with my kids on the bed and they accidentally jumped/ bounced/ step on my c-section wound that still hurts alittle And will probably always be a little tender. And it reminds me that I have a badge of honour (10 cm scar) and pain from it that will always reminds me that I gave birth to these two beautiful children and that I am their mother. 🙂